I was just posting on Facebook about all of my rules that I have in my house and how there are a lot of them. I thought I would share.
No Disney Channel or Nickelodeon unless the show is preapproved by mom. And never EVER any cartoon network.
I was watching a music video by Vanessa Hudgens a while back on Disney Channel and the lyrics were "Last night you were calling me, telling me how you want me." What the heck?! What ever happened to Even Stevens and Lizzy Maguire? Funny, campy TV shows. SO we nixed those channels from the approved list. Cartoon Network has never been allowed because it is too violent. In a general sense it is not violent, but I am not raising the general population in my household. I am raising CHILDREN. Since when is it funny to hurt people? When did it become funny to lose control of your temper? When did killing your friends become humorous? Those things are not funny or lightly taken in real life. We are not going to pretend like they are. What my kids CAN watch is Food Network, Discovery Channel, History Channel, and Animal Planet. They actually absorb new information that I cannot even teach them. I don't think media is a good medium for teaching, but I can't ignore it's presence; so we make the best of it! It never replaces family time or traditional learning, though.
Read for 20 minutes before you get to play a 30 minute game on the computer. The Sims. Even if you've already read for 20 minutes that day for homework. And that is only after you've done everything else (clean room, eat, homework, etc)
I justify this by telling my children "If you are going to do something that is unhealthy
for your brain, we are going to do something good for it first." Granted, they read for 10
minutes less than they play the game, but they don't get to play very often. And The Sims is a
life simulator. There is no violence and it is rated E.
No inappropriate music, as defined by language and content of lyrics.
Madison and Emilee listen to my favorite bands, MUSE and Paramore. No Justin Beiber. Why??
Justin Beiber has artists on his album that are notorious for bad language and sexual content,
not to mention drug references in their music. I have no doubt that Justin Beiber is headed in that
direction if those are his musical influences. I can't think of any blatant drug or sex references in
any of their albums. Nor can I think of a song that has a curse word in it. They are free to explore
other music, they just haven't.
Share everything.
An example: We were going to Jetty Island and the kids asked if I could get them shovels and
I went to the grocery store and got one shovel, one pail, and an inflatable ring. When we got to
the beach the kids were forced to figure out who gets to play with what, when, and for how long?
They used their problem solving skills. Madison played with the shovel and pail first while Emilee
played in the water with the ring. They asked me if I could tell them when 10 minutes was up so
that they could trade. This encourages problem solving and social skills that are important both
when they go to school and when they grow up to be adults.
Be helpful.
Who has heard this: "But I didn't make the mess!" I still hear it, but the fact is, we all live in
this house. We all make messes. And we all clean up. Everyone will be helpful, within their
capacity, because we are all equal parts of the household. If Madison left her shirt on the
living room floor but she is still eating and Emilee is finished, I am going to ask Emilee "Emilee,
can you be helpful and pick up Madison's shirt since she is still eating dinner?" and she will do it.
If I just ask "Emilee, pick up that shirt in the living room." I will get a response such as "But I
didn't make the mess!" It's all in your intention.
Be respectful and demand it back... even from adults.
Madison often remarks on other people's parent skills and most of the time it is about the
dynamic of the relationship between the child and their parent. In our house, I am respectful
to Madison, Emilee, and Jesse. Simply because there is no reason not to be respectful. I
always use respectful words and I never use a condescending tone. Jesse and I use sarcasm
with each other, but not with the kids. In return, the children treat us the same way.
Sometimes they slip but a simple "Do I treat you like that?" quashes the attitude and warrants
an apology. I have seen Madison stand up to other adults that have disrespected her and she
does it in a very grown up way, She talks to them about what they did and lets them know
that she did not like it. Sometimes the adults respond well and sometimes they don't. But I
talk to my children and tell them that I am proud of them and the important thing is that they
let the person know that what they did was not acceptable - not that they have a bad attitude.
We are not going to have friends who make poor choices.
Like the neighbor kids who ride their bikes in the middle of the road, unsupervised by an adult
(even the 3 year old!) without helmets and light off fireworks by themselves. I do not blame
these children but I am not going to encourage my kids to play with them if they are being left
to make choices between good and bad by themselves. A 7 year old does not have that
capacity to make those decisions 100 percent on their own. I like my kids in one piece, not
kidnapped, not hit by a car, not bleeding from the head on the sidewalk because they fell off
their bike, and not with first degree burns from fireworks. We'll pass. We will, however, hang out
with children whose parents are going to supervise us when we're playing and make sure
we are safe.
